Communication

You would think that most of our communication is through our words right? Wrong. 51% of our communication is actually non-verbal. 35% of what we mean is done through our tone and only 14% is done through our actual words. This is why it is so important to use our words wisely and try our best to express our feelings. There is a correlation between a satisfaction of marriage and the level of communication. Learning to listen is one of the most crucial parts of becoming successful in communication.  Don't be passive while listening, take the initiative. You need to watch for nonverbal signs as well as what they are actually saying. You need to avoid distractions and focus on what the other person is saying. Control your emotions and your tendency to react before the other person is done talking. Be willing to ask questions and rephrase to figure out what the person meant when they said a certain thing. Make sure to create an overview of what the person said so you can have a complete understanding. Finally, you just need to practice. The more often you use that skill the better you will get at it.

How to Act in a Crisis

Our lives can be very hard and very stressful. Many bad things can happen over the course of our lives. This could be an accident, death, or something like divorce. Then how are we supposed to handle these types of situations? We have to control how we respond in the situations even if we can't change the outcome of whatever had happened. The family needs to do their best to stay as close as possible.... instead of pulling away from one another. Three different results can come out of  a crisis. The first being higher maturity and the members have grown and learned. The second could be they are at the same level as before and just have coped with it. The third is a lower level; the family members have along term negative reaction. I have seen all of these reactions just in my family. When I was young my parents divorced and it had a huge effect on my family. Some siblings stepped up and did what they could to help. Some just tried there best to go on and learn to cope. A few of them totally reacted in a negative way and still struggle with it even 10 years later. I think in a crisis it is important to communicate with everyone in the family and try to help them the best you can. If everyone looks after one another, then the family will come out stronger and closer than before.

The double standard

In the U.S. society we see a lot of double standards. In many aspects men have always seem to be favored over women. The same is true in the case of premarital sex. The boys were supposed to have some experience while the girls were supposed to stay completely clean. I have seen this a lot growing up and girls are called bad names while guys are praised for it. It has become more equal as time has gone on, but the double standard is definitely still there. It was interesting to see that based on a survey most people thought that premarital sex was not okay and even less thought it was okay for women. In today's world people are forgetting that doing those things before marriage can have a great effect on how you act when you do eventually get married. When you have been hurt again and again after doing those intimate things it can cause the person to be more closed off. They are less likely to trust. There is a reason it is meant only for after marriage and if we can just remember that there could be potential for happier marriages.

Why Marriage?

To start out I am going to talk about why people want to and choose to get married. One of the first reasons is the need for Intimacy. Over time marriage has become more about love rather than  money and politics. People need to feel that connection and strong relationship with someone else. Another reason is because of social expectations that people will look at you negatively if you remain single. All societies have some type of institution similar to marriage and growing up we are taught that one day we will be married. Social ideals and personal fulfillment is similar to social expectations because you learn those principles from the culture that you grow up in. They still see marriage as an important step of life. An obvious reason is a desire for children and they want to start their own families. A final reason is they see it as a way out of the problems they are currently having with life. I think it is so important to go into marriage for the right reasons, so there can be a bigger chance for happiness and success.